Tuesday, October 27, 2015

"I did some math over Fall Break... I calculated how many ladies I got."

Friday, October 9, 2015

"I was in a band in 4th grade. We had to break up when the lead singer got braces."

Friday, September 25, 2015


"Bagels are just naked doughnuts."

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

An End of an Era

Unfortunately, my time as a 6th grade math teacher is over. I am moving to another state to go to grad school, and I am leaving my hilarious students behind.
So without further ado, I give you my last blog post (for a while at least). Here are all the quotes that I can remember that haven't made the blog yet.

Edith (comes up to me with Elizabeth): Guess who is dating Tyler.
Ms. B: Ummm, hmmmm. Elizabeth?
Edith: OMG, how did you know?!?!?
Ms. B: Just a guess.
Elizabeth: Well, duh. It's pretty obvious. Everyone knows.
Edith: Everyone knows??
Elizabeth: Duh.
Edith: Does Tyler know?
Elizabeth: Duh.
Edith: [screams]

Mr. B (science teacher): Yeah, I am doing the P90X program, and I am supposed to go home and take pictures of myself naked from the waist up so I can see how much progress I make.
Ms. B: Oh, interesting. So you don't want to go to get ice cream with us?
Mr. B: Nah, I've got to take the nakie pics.
(Child walks by.)
Ms. B: Oh my gosh, I think that kid just heard you say that.
[one month later]
Ms. B: Hey, do you want to go to lunch with us today?
Mr. B: Oh, I wish, but I have to take nudie pics this evening.
(Child walks by.)
Ms. B: Oh my gosh, the SAME kid just heard you say that.

Madison: Ms. B, I like it when you wear purple. It makes your eyes stand out.

Victor: Ms. B, look at this place on my arm. (points to bruise-looking spot on forearm)
Ms. B: Wow, Victor, how did that happen?
Victor: I got bored at church so I gave myself a hickey.

Katie: [crying] Ms. B, I don't know what to do!
Ms. B: What's wrong?
Katie: My library book is over due!!!

Corvin: Ms. B! I met your friend Dr. Jones! She was my doctor!
Ms. B: Oh, really? Oh, Corvin, you are so lucky. Dr. Jones is so fun! She is one of my CLOSEST friends.
Corvin: [accusingly] She said you were her BEST friend.

Sam: Ms. B, I had so much fun on Pi Day! I went home and bought a pi t-shirt and pi ice cube trays!!!

Sandra: [to Mrs. R, another teacher] Mrs. R, you're so lucky. All the cool teachers eat lunch in your room!

Friday, May 7, 2010


Mrs. R (coworker): Hey, Tasha, watch out! You're about to sit on my lunch! I don't want my lunch to taste like you!
Kenisha: Oooh, gross. That's nasty. Tasha tastes bad.
Mrs. R: How would you know?
Kenisha: CJ told me.

Monday, March 22, 2010


Cindy: Ms. B, do you know Sue Ann?
Ms. B: Yes, she's one of my students.
Cindy: I just love her.
Ms. B: Yeah, she's really fun.
Cindy: She's my new best friend.
Ms. B: Oh yeah?
Cindy: Yep. Well, she had a crush on my boyfriend...
Ms. B: Oh! You have a boyfriend?!
Cindy: Yes. Do you know John?
Ms. B: Yep.
Cindy: Well, he's my boyfriend.
Ms. B: How long have you guys been dating?
Cindy: About half a week.
Ms. B: Oooh. Nice.
Cindy: Yeah, so SueAnn really had a crush on John, and I told her that I didn't want any hard feelings. I told her that I wanted her to tell me any time she had jealous feelings so that we could talk them over.
Ms. B: Oh, that's nice.
Cindy: Well, I just want to stay friends. I don't want him to come between us. We're just best friends.
Ms. B: I'm glad you're friends! What do you guys talk about?
Cindy: Well, we're both Christians, so we talk a lot about that.
Ms. B: Good for you.
Cindy: Yeah. And we also talk about John.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


Regan: My boyfriend got me chocolates. It was so sweet of him. I mean, what girl doesn't LOOOOOOOOOVE chocolates?!?!?