"I did some math over Fall Break... I calculated how many ladies I got."

"I was in a band in 4th grade. We had to break up when the lead singer got braces."

Breakfast

"Bagels are just naked doughnuts."

An End of an Era

Unfortunately, my time as a 6th grade math teacher is over. I am moving to another state to go to grad school, and I am leaving my hilarious students behind.
So without further ado, I give you my last blog post (for a while at least). Here are all the quotes that I can remember that haven't made the blog yet.

Edith (comes up to me with Elizabeth): Guess who is dating Tyler.
Ms. B: Ummm, hmmmm. Elizabeth?
Edith: OMG, how did you know?!?!?
Ms. B: Just a guess.
Elizabeth: Well, duh. It's pretty obvious. Everyone knows.
Edith: Everyone knows??
Elizabeth: Duh.
Edith: Does Tyler know?
Elizabeth: Duh.
Edith: [screams]


Mr. B (science teacher): Yeah, I am doing the P90X program, and I am supposed to go home and take pictures of myself naked from the waist up so I can see how much progress I make.
Ms. B: Oh, interesting. So you don't want to go to get ice cream with us?
Mr. B: Nah, I've got to take the nakie pics.
(Child walks by.)
Ms. B: Oh my gosh, I think that kid just heard you say that.
[one month later]
Ms. B: Hey, do you want to go to lunch with us today?
Mr. B: Oh, I wish, but I have to take nudie pics this evening.
(Child walks by.)
Ms. B: Oh my gosh, the SAME kid just heard you say that.


Madison: Ms. B, I like it when you wear purple. It makes your eyes stand out.


Victor: Ms. B, look at this place on my arm. (points to bruise-looking spot on forearm)
Ms. B: Wow, Victor, how did that happen?
Victor: I got bored at church so I gave myself a hickey.


Katie: [crying] Ms. B, I don't know what to do!
Ms. B: What's wrong?
Katie: My library book is over due!!!


Corvin: Ms. B! I met your friend Dr. Jones! She was my doctor!
Ms. B: Oh, really? Oh, Corvin, you are so lucky. Dr. Jones is so fun! She is one of my CLOSEST friends.
Corvin: [accusingly] She said you were her BEST friend.


Sam: Ms. B, I had so much fun on Pi Day! I went home and bought a pi t-shirt and pi ice cube trays!!!

Sandra: [to Mrs. R, another teacher] Mrs. R, you're so lucky. All the cool teachers eat lunch in your room!

Lunch

Mrs. R (coworker): Hey, Tasha, watch out! You're about to sit on my lunch! I don't want my lunch to taste like you!
Kenisha: Oooh, gross. That's nasty. Tasha tastes bad.
Mrs. R: How would you know?
Kenisha: CJ told me.

Friendship

Cindy: Ms. B, do you know Sue Ann?
Ms. B: Yes, she's one of my students.
Cindy: I just love her.
Ms. B: Yeah, she's really fun.
Cindy: She's my new best friend.
Ms. B: Oh yeah?
Cindy: Yep. Well, she had a crush on my boyfriend...
Ms. B: Oh! You have a boyfriend?!
Cindy: Yes. Do you know John?
Ms. B: Yep.
Cindy: Well, he's my boyfriend.
Ms. B: How long have you guys been dating?
Cindy: About half a week.
Ms. B: Oooh. Nice.
Cindy: Yeah, so SueAnn really had a crush on John, and I told her that I didn't want any hard feelings. I told her that I wanted her to tell me any time she had jealous feelings so that we could talk them over.
Ms. B: Oh, that's nice.
Cindy: Well, I just want to stay friends. I don't want him to come between us. We're just best friends.
Ms. B: I'm glad you're friends! What do you guys talk about?
Cindy: Well, we're both Christians, so we talk a lot about that.
Ms. B: Good for you.
Cindy: Yeah. And we also talk about John.

Gift

Regan: My boyfriend got me chocolates. It was so sweet of him. I mean, what girl doesn't LOOOOOOOOOVE chocolates?!?!?