Chivalry

In first block, there is a table of four girls and one boy. Jesus is the lucky man.

Jesus is a very smart boy with the sweetest disposition. He always holds the door open for his classmates, he speaks kindly to me, and he is well-liked by his peers. For the last month, I have noticed the cutest thing about him.

At the beginning of each class, he waits for Alexis (the girl who sits next to him) to walk in. When she comes to class, he pulls out her chair, waits for her to sit down, and then pushes her chair in for her. (As if they are at a fine-dining restaurant instead of Ms. B's math class!)

And some say chivalry is dead...

Seventh Grade Skeptic

A seventh grader walked into my classroom today.

Ms. B: Hi Evan. What's up?
Evan: I'm looking for my math teacher. Have you seen her?
Ms. B: I don't think she's here yet. Can I help you with something?
Evan: Hmm... well, I'm in Pre-Algebra. Do you know how to do that?

[Thoughts of Ms. B: Should I explain to this student that I have taken many many classes beyond pre-algebra? Should I try to explain Differential Equations or Non-Euclidean Geometry?]

Ms. B: Hmmm, Evan. It depends. Let's see.

Frustrated

In class today, I gave the students a brain teaser. Slowly, individual students began to catch on and they helped me continue to stump the rest of the class. I could tell many students were frustrated. After a few minutes of this, a student from the back of the room threw his hands in the air and yelled--

"EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER KNOWN IS A LIE!!!"

Dance Jitters

Nigel: Ms. B, I'm so glad I found you. You are just the person I was looking for!

Ms. B: Well, good. What's up?

Nigel: Umm, well, I was just, uh, wondering... Would you go to the DANCE with me this afternoon?

Ms. B: Oh, Nigel! Thank you so much for asking! I wish I could, but I have plans right after school, so I can't go to the dance.

Nigel: Really? Oh, man. Dang it. Now I don't know who to ask.

Ms. B: Oh, I'm so sorry, Nigel. ...

Nigel: It's just that... I've already asked the librarian, the nurse, and the lunch lady. None of them can go either.

Unusual Compliment

Daniel: [looking at the multiplication problems written on the board] Ms. B, you write really good X's.
Ms. B: Thank you, Daniel.
Daniel: How are they so good?
Ms. B: Years of experience.

Check Yes or No

My heart leapt as I intercepted a 6th grade love note yesterday afternoon.

It was a "check yes or no" type letter with a twist. It read like this.

Do you like me? Are you gonna start paying more attention to me?

[ ] Yes to both
[ ] No to first
[ ] No to second
[ ] No to both

How to Take on Embarrasing Situations

I was teaching class today when I heard a student pass some gas. As a teacher, it's your job to hold it together. When students ignore the flatulence, I'm really good at ignoring it as well. After years of practice, I don't even break a smile anymore. ... usually.

Today, however, a student right in front of me passed some gas. I was preparing myself to ignore it, when the student looked me straight in the eye, smiled a huge grin, and (without a hint of embarrassment) said, "I'm sorry." After that, he went back to work.

I laughed so hard. What an honest/funny kid!

Parental Involvement

Open House was last week. I met many great parents who have great children.

Close to the end of the evening, a woman and her son came up to me. She told me that her son had been worried about math class. I told her that I would love to meet with him about his problems in math, but he had to come see me and let me know that he was having trouble... otherwise, I wouldn't know.

At that, she had a big smile on her face and turned to her son:

"See, boy, that's what I told you! If you're gonna get help, you gotta HOLLA EARLY, HOLLA OFTEN!"

Introduce Yourself

At the beginning of each year, I play a name game with my students. The game is pretty simple: find a word that describes you AND starts with the same letter as your first name.
Me?
Bubbly Ms. B

Some students?

Rockin' Aneesha
Gliding Kim
Pharoh Chris

(What happened to starting the word with the same letter as your first name?!?!!)

Trendy

Olivia (a student in my class last year) : Ms. B, your dress rocks.
Ms. B: Thanks, Olivia.
Olivia: You are wearing much cooler clothes this year. Your clothes are more trendy.

Mind Tricks

In one class, I have a
Kameron,
Kevin,
Kyle, and
Kris,
so I have a very hard time saying the right name with the right student.

One day, Kevin, a Vietnamese student, raised his hand.

Ms. B: Yes, Kris?
Kevin: Ms. B! It's Kevin!
Ms. B: Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry! I can't beleive I mess that up so much.
Kevin: [frustrated; pounding his fists; trying to show me that the words kinda rhyme] Keh-VIN. A-SIAN.

Gullible

Deandre: Ms. B, why are there no teachers here who's name starts with an A?
Ms. B: Because we made sure not to hire anyone with a name that starts with an A.
Deandre: Why!?!
Ms. B: Because they're mean.
Deandre: What? Not always!
Ms. B: Mmmm hmmm.

Daniel: No, Deandre. The music teacher's first name is Ava!
Deandre: [looks at Ms. B] I believed you for a bit.

Bacon

Kevin: How do you feel about bacon?
All: BACON?
Ms. B: Well, how do YOU feel about it, Kevin?
Kevin: It's really crunchy. But it's oily. But I like it.
Sonia: Yeah, when you're cookin' it in the pan, it's like, "Oh gross." But then when it's on your plate, you're like, "Oh, yum."

"THIS IS FOR RICK!"

When I teach the distributive property, I explain that it's kinda like a mailman visiting houses on a street.
For example, 3 ( 4 + 5) is the same as 3 (4) + 3 ( 5). The mailman is the number 3, and he has to go to both of the other numbers in order to get the problem right.

Ms. B: So let's look at this problem. Remember our mailman! (hand in air) Yes, Victor?
Victor: Ms. B, can we call him Rick?
Ms. B: Who?
Victor: THE MAILMAN!

[Two weeks later.]
Ms. B: (to the class) Guys, I need some help. Can someone come up here and explain this problem? I don't know how else I can explain it, but I need some help.
Victor: I'll do it.
(walks up to the front of the room)
Well, guys... I'm sorry to tell you... but Rick died. But you know who's still here?! HIS COUSIN PAT!

Equality

Kevin: Ms. Buxton! Guess what today is?
Ms. B: What is today?
Kevin: It's Asian New Year!
Ms. B: It's what?
Kevin: It's Asian New Year! Some people call it Chinese New Year, but that's not fair because we ALL celebrate!

Facial Tissue Worries

Dunn (holding the Kleenex box): Ms. Buxton, is this one-ply or two-ply?
Ms. B: Uh, I have no idea.
Dunn: Oh. (takes a Kleenex, looks at it) It's two-ply.

Blunt Honesty

Jacob raises his hand.
"Ms. B, did you not sleep last night or is that just make up?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've got big bags under your eyes."

I'm too old to be a teacher...

I helped a student with a problem on her homework assignment, and I wrote some of the work on her paper. After we finished the problem together, she erased everything I wrote and said, "It should be in my own handwriting. Just in case you forget."

Then, as an afterthought, she added,

"Not that you're old or something."